Are cars better than buses? Judge for yourself.

All of the environmental advantages of taking the bus to work are negated by two things:

First, hundreds of freeloading pensioners, who 'need' to get their shopping at rush hour, taking all of the seats.

Second, drivers like these:

Dumb Parking

If you are seriously, awfully bad at parking you'd better watch out, because Crap-Parking.co.uk has its beady eyes on you.

If you're a selfish idiot and think you can park where you like and balls to everyone else, then this site is here to expose you. Anyone can park the car a little bit badly, and I expect we've all parked a bit further from the kerb than we'd have liked, or strayed an inch into the next space and said to ourselves "That'll do."

These selfish muppets, on the other hand have absolutely zero consideration, and presumably a matching amount of shame, as they brazenly park their cars like this:







So next time you see someone parking in a seriously dumb way, why not take a photo with your mobile and send it in, so at least they can be mercilessly mocked.

And how about this:



This not-so-smart parking warden's Smart car is equipped with a retractable, 15 foot high spy camera, ready to take pictures of parking offences in the NCP car park. Unfortunately, the dumb driver forgot to retract the camera when he left the car park, caught it on the barrier, and before you could say cheese, he was the one caught on camera...

By the way, this post is the 200th post on the Fluxposure blog. I hope everyone is still enjoying it. Your comments are always welcome, and I'm certainly looking forward to writing the next couple of hundred - if you can bear it.

Flux Team Theme

Once again, June is our month of fun here at Flux HQ, and one of the competitions this year was to come up with an Adrian Flux company theme tune.

Here is Richard Rowsell's winning entry.

Don't tut a woman driver...

According to the esteemed Asia Insurance Review, researchers at Queensland University in Australia have found that :

A woman who is chided or criticised by her husband or male companion while she is driving is more than twice as likely to have an accident.

Apparently, 168 female students underwent a computer simulated psychological driving test. Half of the group were informed that the test would find out why men were better drivers then women, the other half were simply told the researchers were exploring the mental processes in driving.

Almost half the former group struck a (computerised) pedestrian who appeared suddenly, but only a quarter of the second group did.

The result of this - if women are bad drivers, it's probably a bloke's fault, hence womens' car insurance is cheaper.

Yep, that must have been what happened here. After a quality attempt at parking, this lady is attempting to reverse out for another go.

Pimp My Paddy Wagon

Clearly Brunstrom's crew at the North Wales police have decided that if you can't beat them, you may as well join them, and have kitted out a police van with thousands of pounds worth of plod mods.

They reckon if they turn up at cruise events in their modified Ford Transit (resplendent in classic Martini race colours and recently retired from camera duty) they can talk to the participants about road safety. Presumably once the laughter has died down.

Predictably, many people are mocking the police for this, but I think they deserve some credit.

OK, so it's about as cool as your dad coming out clubbing with you, but at least they're making an effort to engage with a culture that most police forces don't even try to understand, much less care about.

The bottom line is, that if a single life is saved, the effort will have been worth it, and by running a modified motor themselves, they might even learn a thing or two.



If any plumbers out there feel inspired enough to kit out their transit van, you know where to come for modified van insurance.

Insurance Claims Question - what do you think?

Here's one for those of you sitting insurance exams...

Is this situation covered on the truck insurance, home insurance, breakdown policy or the bridge owners' public liability?





They'll probably leave it there, where an estate agent will describe it as

"a charming bungalow in a unique location, river views, good road access"

Makes me glad that people don't generally try delivering fully assembled houses on trucks in this country.

How to park a van

If you're a van driver as skillful as this, we'd love to give you van insurance.

Otherwise don't try this at home:

Saudi Arabia legalises women drivers - are they sure?

Apparently Saudi Arabia is about to legalise women drivers - Saudi is the last country on earth where women are not allowed to drive.

I'm wondering whether they might reconsider if they see this?



Seriously, though - men are just as bad as we showed recently.

Flux babe blooper

Customer service boss and Flux Babe extraordinaire, Jenny, is probably going to kill me, so if I don't post for some time, you'll know why.

This happened at the French Car Show last year (I'm pleased to say we'll be there again this year) and I came across it when I was sorting through the videos for the flux babes website.

Renault Megane - French in sense of humour shock.

For Friday, here's another one from the foreign adverts that are better than ours file:

Here's Renault showing us something humourous - and this time it's not just the 'quirky' rear-end of the Megane...

IT Department try their hand at modelling.

Having seen the photos from the flux babes photoshoot, the IT department here at Flux fancied their own shot at glamour modelling stardom.

Here is the video from their very own photoshoot!

Buying a Skyline? Best check with the wife first...

The R34 Nissan Skyline GT-R is an awesome car. And if you've maxed it out with a ton of performance modifications, taking it up to 420bhp in the process, it can probably knock spots off of most supercars you could mention on any track.

Sadly, though for one Jap Import fan, the joys of owning this fearsome beast of a car have come to a premature and unhappy end.

As the clearly disgruntled seller discovered, if you're in a relationship, your dreams may be cruelly dashed:

Reason for Selling: Purchased without proper consent from the wife. Apparently "do whatever the F**K you want" does not mean what I thought.

So there you are. If you want to purchase the car and give it a good home you can get the full specs and buy it here. Just make sure you check with the missus first.

Although as the owner points out insurance for a Nissan Skyline can be a tad expensive and, if you're young, difficult to even find. Fortunately, Adrian Flux can fix you up with some modified Nissan Skyline insurance, or indeed insurance for any japanese import.

Camp Flux

Monday would have been PDA's 41st Birthday so in memory of our good friend and colleague, the Flux staff had an additional dress down day (or dress up day, you could say.)

In a fitting tribute to the 'Man' himself, there was a Competition on the day with a Prize for the person who looked the most 'Camp'!!!

I hear you all cry that its a fix and that Rob Balls is going to run away with the prize! We totally understand your concerns. So to be fair and to give everyone a fair chance of winning, Rob Balls was excluded from this contest!

After having a wander round and observing everyone the judges decided on a winner - Lloyd Geddes. Even without dressing up Lloyd still took the undisputed title of 'The Campest of the Camp'. There's more queen potential in his little finger (Ed: that's not his little finger in the picture!) than Alex 'AI' Field bending Ashley Hewitt over in the boardroom. Congratulations to Lloyd, and a long wished for prize of pink Toni and Guy hair straighteners. He was highly excited when a 12 inch package was produced until he realised batteries weren't required.



Lloyd was so overcome with emotion at winning that he couldn't make the speech that he wanted, so on his behalf - thanks go to all of his friends, his colleagues and the readers of 'Attitude' magazine.

As the standard of campness was so high, some runners up prizes were in order.

2nd prize went to : 'The Village Quotes People' consisting of Steve Rush (sailor), Ashley Hewitt (cowboy), Darren Wood (Indian), Rob Aves (Builder), Gary Edgeley (cop) and Alex Field (bondage biker). After a 5 minute experience with them in the boardroom I am in need of some serious therapy.........well done boys! Any volunteers for Steve to carry home a la Richard Gere/Debra Winger, please call ext 209 (look it up you young'uns)



3rd prize went to : David 'Pimp Dogg' Wilson who has clearly missed his calling in life - get down the docks and fulfill those dreams David!



4th prize went to : The quotes receptionists, all attired in such a way that it's a wonder the male quotes floor staff have got any work done today.



Paul Twite, as one of the judges, was barred from entry, but would surely have triumphed with this entry:


All in all a day to remember and if PDA were looking on, he'd be proud of the efforts all of the staff made to out-camp him, even though we never got close to his standard.

Did you get Service with a smile? This is why...

One of the areas that Adrian Flux have really improved upon in recent years - as noted by the clients surveyed by Auto Express for their Driver power insurance survey, where Adrian Flux appeared as the most improved insurance provider.

There are may reasons for the improvements, but part of it has to be the great level of engagement from our staff.

Crazed purple cow enthusiast and queen of the service floor, Jenny, is always looking for ways to make our customer service team even happier, and so she runs a variety of competitions with prizes for the winners, and free fun for all who take part.

Two of the recent competitions have been a poetry competition and an art competition. As the standard of entries was so high, we thought that the winners deserved a wider audience.

First up the poetry competiton, where the challenge was to write an ode to Bruce. (Bruce is Jenny's pet purple cow).

Here's a pic of Jenny and Bruce, so you get the idea:



So onto the winning poem by claims guru Simon "Toopy" Toop - don't read it if you're easily offended:

Bruce is strong, Bruce is fit
Bruce likes reading the newspaper while having a sh*t.

Bruce is muscular, Bruce is toned
Bruce is 100% testosteroned.

Bruce is strong, Bruce is tough
Bruce likes his women dirty and rough.

Bruce is purple, Bruce is bad
Bruce likes his cows to be totally mad.

Bruce is unique, Bruce is a stud
Bruce likes wrestling in the mud.

Bruce is smart, Bruce is cool
Bruce gives it from behind like a mule!!

Meanwhile Keely penned a poem so profound that even Carl "Can't we have Flux MILFs?" Pickett doesn't understand its ultimate depths of meaning (and he's a Pink Floyd fan!):

Bruce is the grass.
He feeds us with his wisdom of claims and service knowledge.

Bruce is water.
He replenishes our withering dedication to Flux.

Bruce is the sun.
He shines on our ambitions through pay reviews.

Hail Bruce, leader of the service floor.

Onto the picture competition. For this the challenge was to draw the best representation of one or more of the service floor supervisors.

The winner this time was Keely, with her picture of Jenny with John "Ken Adams" Bray, Emma, Jon, Sonya and Nicky astride Bruce.



Runner-up was Charmain with her pics of John, Jon and Sonya.



And in third place was Claire, with her portrait of Jon Davey riding bruceback.



So congratulations to the winners, who walk away with a small prize and a triumphant smile on their faces. And if you need to ring for customer service, and the person you speak to sounds in a particularly good mood, you'll know why.

If, however, they sound a bit down, please bear in mind that the person before you may have unleashed a torrent of unwarranted abuse at them and given them a hard time for trying to do their job to the best of their abilities.

The name's Megane, Renault Megane...

Or not.

According to Pravda, the Belgian authorities have prevented the Renault family from naming their daughter Megane.

Good job rugby legend Austin Healey didn't have the misfortune to be born in Wallonia.

Floody Hell

As the Derbyshire police will tell you, you need to think twice before driving down a flooded street. And if there is a news crew present, perhaps think a third time as well. This young lady didn't and her predicament was broadcast live on Sky.

Naked Woman in a Ferrari stops for cigarettes.

Yes you read that right. Customers and staff at a petrol station near the town of Dömitz, Germany looked on admiringly as a splendid red Ferrari F430 pulled up at the forecourt.

Then came the "drop your bratwurst" moment as a naked blonde climbed out of the passenger seat, and wearing nothing more than a pair of gold stilettos (this is Germany, remember), along with a watch, a bracelet and belly chain, not to mention some substantial tattoos, proceeded to walk into the garage and purchase 6 packets of cigarettes. (The lady behind the counter helpfully confirmed that the mystery nudist was carrying cash in her hand.)

The unclothed Teutonic maiden then calmly walked back to the waiting Ferrari climbed back in, and she and her unseen companion sped off like the proverbial Valkyrie.

But not before a young snapper named Karsten had bagged a couple of photos of the unclad passenger, and, like a true gent, he has published them on the net and had them published in the tabloid Bild. (Summary in english.)





But the question remains, why?

Bild suggested that perhaps the Ferrari's air conditioning was broken.
Maybe she was so desperate for a post-coital cigarette that she didn't stop to put clothes on?

I guess we'll never know.

But I have checked, and as far as I can tell, if you have a crash whilst driving naked, you will still be covered by your car insurance, although you may be arrested for something else!

Expensive Mistake by careless Ferrari Driver

If you are lucky enough to own a powerful rear-wheel drive car, whether it be something as exclusive as a Ferrari or something just a little more down to earth, like a Lotus or TVR, you need to be careful that you don't lose control.

That's why we offer such a massive discount on performance car insurance to owners who have completed a course like Ride Drive.

So if you're lucky enough to have a dream car, think about improving your driving, or you'll end up looking like a big wally - just ask this guy:



And if he doesn't convince you, you could ask this Mustang driver.

Police, Stopped!

Many people have been caught out by the recent flooding around the country. But what should you do if you get stranded in your car in the rising water.

Well, I guess most people would suggest you call the police. After all, they'll know what to do.



On second thoughts, better leave it.

If on the other hand, your home is in an area at risk of flooding, you could do worse than get your flood risk home insurance from Adrian Flux - we can arrange cover when other companies run for the hills. Call us on 08080 77 22 66.

Adrian Flux Quiz 2007 - The Results

by Julie Carter, Household Man-eater - sorry Manager

Wow what an event it turned out to be! Thank you to all who made the effort to attend, the event was the ‘biggest ever’, making all the hard work organising it worthwhile.

Here’s a Little Summary:

The evening kicked off at 7:30pm and each team had a supply of drinks, sweets, biscuits and nuts to help keep everyone’s brains ticking along and prevent the tummy grumbles. Each team had 6 answer sheets, 1 sheet per round, each round contained 12 questions and each team had a Joker.

The question rounds consisted of Music, Sport, True or False, Celebrities, Intro’s and TV & Film. We also had a ‘BONUS’ round supplying each team with some lyrics. The teams needed to identify the name of the songs that the lyrics appear in.

We were fortunate enough to have the help of our very own Mr Twite who took his usual role of Quiz Master and a smashing job he did too, albeit he probably ended up with a sore throat after 2 ½ hours of shouting out the questions. We did supply him with a microphone however he declined the offer as he didn’t want to be restricted to one spot. He wanted the freedom to roam around the marquee and I quote, ‘to walk about and hang around the tables with the pretty ladies!!!’ (Editor's Note: He was also wearing a fetching pink top, which showed off his toned muscles!)

At the beginning of each round Mr Twite asked if any team wished to use their joker, in doing so any points they earnt during the round would be doubled.

At half way point we had approx 10 teams who were in 1st, 2nd and 3rd places so things were pretty tight. However most of the teams had already played their jokers so all teams had everything to play for in round 2.

Round 2 was under way and the managers team; ‘Jen’s Fantasy Team’ were doing well (sorry correction, Jen was doing very well while Carl put his feet up and was thinking of England and Elliot was getting drunk!!), so it pretty much left Lee and Jen to fend for the Managers honour and on the basis that Jen subscribes to ‘Closer’ she was always going to be the strength within the group – real girl power!!

More disturbingly was the fact that the winners of the 2006 quiz were also fairing well, surely they could not win it for the second year running!!!!

The minutes ticked by and before we knew it the questions had come to an end. Now it was up to the scorers to collate the answers and announce the winning teams, but low and behold we had a tiebreaking situation for 1st place, between ‘The Arsehole of Flux’ – No the team was not named after you Rushy, although I can understand why people would think it was!! – and ‘Dogtanian and the Four Marketeers’ – last year’s winning team – boooo.

(Editor's Note: I would like to point out that only 60% of last years winners (Darwin's Unnatural Selection) were in Dogtanian this year - there was no Jemma and with the aforementioned Jenny having been poached by the managers, we were lucky to have two new recruits available in the shape of Steve and Charlotte.)

We were prepared for such an eventuality. The tie-breaking question that determined who would win the jackpot of £210 or the 2nd prize of £100 was: ‘According to Ask.Com how many islands make up the Maldives? First with their answer was ‘Dogtanian and the Four Marketeers’ with 2000. At this point Paul thought Dogtanian had finally been beaten, but it was not meant to be; ‘The Arsehole of Flux’ had answered 130. The correct answer was 1190 so ‘Dogtanian’ had done it again!!!!!

In third place was the Managers' team who won £50. I think it worth a mention that the Managers' team did not accept their win and in its place donated their £50 to the RSPCA, what a lovely gesture!

Below we have a picture of the winning team and Craig has even agreed to show us how big (or little as the case may be) his tackle is – enjoy…



So in all we had a fantastic evening and special thanks must be given to Juliet Canham, Emma Pooley and Jane Overson for their much-appreciated (and needed!!) help.

2008 Quiz Event - Word of Warning to the marketing department – Bring it on! 2008 is the year we kick butt!! (Editor's Note: Anytime, Carter, we're ready and waiting!)

Adrian Flux Golf Day 2007

13th June 2007, and all eyes were on Middleton Hall Golf Course, where the annual Adrian Flux Golf Day was taking place. Steve Rush sent us this report.

Invited guests and industry bigwigs travelled the length of the country to take part in this prestigious event and, along with the usual Flux suspects, the field was set.

This year there was one notable inclusion JOHN "PIEMAN" BRAY! With bacon rolls for breakfast, a buffet lunch and a 3 course banquet on offer, John decided that the game of golf was actually not that boring after all.

At 11.00am the golf got under way with the groups teeing off at 10 minute intervals. The sound of ball against tree and the splash of ball in lake could be heard regularly. Wayne Senter, whose house neighbours the course had wisely bordered up his windows, whilst the club shop had made record sales on golf balls. There were complaints against slow play by David Flux’s group, although, reportedly, the constant sound of an air rifle and the scattering of pigeons may have been the reason behind this.

The course was in excellent condition, although it did resemble Ashley Hewitt’s hair ‘style’ with the smooth fairways joining up with the thick rough. As the weather got hotter so did Dan "Screw" Driver who had turned up in a long sleeved black work shirt. After spending the first 3 holes looking for his ball in the trees, the bark had turned his shirt into green and black camouflage and he looked more like a soldier in combat than a golfer.

All the talk before hand was from Kev "Shandyman" Playford about how he’d won a big vase in a competition the week before. (What he seemingly didn't say was that he'd won the vase in the flower arranging competition at the WI) After seeing KP's poor tee shot at the 11th, Rushy ripped the piss! Kev’s reply was ‘watch this, it’s going straight in the hole’. The ball went 5 yards up the hill and rolled back to his feet. Chin up Kev!

On the same hole Phil Harpham thought he’d won the nearest the pin trophy but his effort fell 2 inches short, not for the first time he’s lacked a couple of inches.

Paul Twite surprised everyone by not playing this year, saying there was a lot to organise, but after reaching the half way stage we knew the real reason. Sunning himself on the refreshment stall with a scantily clad Heidi was a much better idea. (Rumours he'd been banned from playing due to adverse reflections from his bonce proved entirely unfounded)

Rob "Swampy" Balls wished he’d bought his calculator to add up his score (He needn't have bothered, though - they don't make them with that many digits.) John and Kev’s stand-up routine soon emptied the clubhouse.

For the 2nd year running, Carl Pickett was grouped with the only female player, Lisa. Lisa out-hit Carl on every shot and was clearly getting annoyed when Carl kept asking her to help find his balls in the trees.

Richard Harding turned up on his horse after winning the bandit award last year but this was promptly stolen by Gav ‘The Wisbechian’ Hill, who set out on the course with this and a 28 handicap.

The final group was the much anticipated ‘Battle of Flux’. The challenge between Adam ‘Tiger’ Hutchison and John ‘The Terminator’ Bray. They were joined by the oldest competitor, Geoff, and some other bloke who couldn’t play golf either. John had even had a couple of lessons because he was determined to beat Adam.

All 4 were on the range beforehand psyching each other out. It was not long before the sound of ball hitting the side wall could be heard with balls ricocheting left right and centre. When Adam managed to hit the wall behind him, the range quickly emptied with golfers fearing for their safety. Adam reverted to chipping practise after being barred from the range.

John was getting worried as he knew walking around the course would be the first form of exercise that he had done since middle school and he knew the excuse of verrucas wouldn’t work like it did in swimming lessons.

So when the buggy was hired for Geoff, John’s face lit up and he literally spent the whole afternoon driving it leaving 75 year old Geoff to walk. John played one shot which travelled all of 3 yards, most people would have stepped forward to play their next shot but not John, he got back in the buggy and drove 3 yards to his ball (lazy git). There were rumours that John played most of his shots whilst sitting in the buggy.



The day finished with a meal and presentation of the trophies at the Riverside restaurant. Steve "Crappy Gilmore" Day won some golf balls which was a result as he’d lost 14 during his round and everyone was amazed that John didn’t win the award for worst golfer. A fun day was had by all so thanks goes to John for providing the entertainment.

Uh-oh - The women drivers are back

Well it's been a while, and we did find a worse driver who was a bloke, but I knew that sooner or later the women drivers, who, remember get special women driver insurance premiums up to 35% cheaper than chaps, would return.

If you see any more like this, then please let me have them, but I want to see more blokes doing idiotic stuff in cars - they must be out there, surely!

Left hand drive insurance

Unlike a lot of insurers, we love left hand drive cars.

Whether you need modern or classic american car insurance, european import car insurance, or something exotic, like supercar insurance.

So if you want left hand drive insurance, for your left hooker there's no need to resort to this:

Is your car making a funny noise?

If it is, be careful, it could be an alligator.

No, really!

Bollards again

The infamous bollards of Manchester have featured here before. And more than once too!

Here are some of the local scallies treating the traffic calming with the usual amount of respect.

Car in a Half Pipe

From the file marked ads we wish we got here, check out this one for the somewhat foolishly named Nissan Qashqai.

Practise Safe Sex - by modifying your car!

If, like Bernhard Stadlinger, you are feeling lucky after a night out on the town, and manage to get it on with a young lady you've met at the disco (well, he is German!), then you may well face the same problem as him.

After all one black VW Golf looks much like another, and if, like our 24 year old Bavarian chum and his unnamed lady friend, you choose the wrong one, you could be in trouble. When the middle aged owner of the car came back and found the windows a bit steamy, she called the police, and poor old Bernhard found himself with some explaining to do.

Now if only he had fitted a smart bodykit, mad exhaust, bling alloys, and some window tinting to his car he would have had no trouble finding it. You've got to wonder, though, how it was that, according to the press reports, his key fitted the locks on both cars.

Robo VW Passat struts its stuff

Obviously Herbie, the possessed Beetle, hasn't put Volkswagen of the idea of giving their cars a mind of their own. Yesterday a highly modified VW Passat went on show at the Science Museum. The advanced teutonic driving wizardry is part of the Team LUX entry into the DARPA Urban Challenge, a competition run by the US military with the aim of finding a car capable of driving itself through urban environments. Then they'll presumably build themselves an army of robotic tanks like something out of Robocop.

The LUX Passat cost a whopping £1m to put together, which is expensive, even for a VW, but the money will have been well spent if their technology is used for any commercial or military applications, and, who knows, perhaps your car will be driving itself within a few years.

Team Lux say:

Team-LUX has chosen a production car for the DARPA Urban Challenge – a VW Passat 2.0 TDI built in 2006. The autonomous control equipment is fully integrated into the vehicle. This makes the Team-LUX the first ever to enter the DARPA Challenge with a car that looks exactly like a standard road model, mostly without visible extensions such as sensors, antennas or processing systems.

The vehicle is equipped with three Ibeo laser sensors or “intelligent eyes”: two at the front of the vehicle and the third in the rear, giving the car 360° vision. No other sensors of any type are required!

We're not sure whether we could find an underwriter to accept a robot as a named driver, but we reckon it's got to be a pretty good risk. It will, presumably, need to pass a driving test before we have to worry about that, though.

Cars are definitely getting more and more advanced, but, thankfully, there's nothing quite like the Dancing / Ice Skating Citroen Robots just yet.

What old people do for fun.

Amid all the bad press that younger drivers get and the column inches filled with their problems getting car insurance, it's easy to forget that elderly drivers often have trouble getting cover at a reasonable rate. It seems as though some insurance companies decide that any driver over 'a certain age' is a danger to the bottom line, despite the fact that everyone knows older drivers tend to drive safely and sedately for the most part.

Well, Adrian Flux can find older drivers insurance policies that offer a high level of cover, but don't punish you for being mature in years.

Just as long as they don't make a habit of doing this...

Finally a guy driving badly...

After months of wanting a clip of a guy driving as badly as some of the women previously displaying their distinct lack of driving talent, I've finally got one.

This is why cars come with a handbrake - shame he was too dumb to use it...

It was all going so well, but just as I was about to post this, Gerry sent me this.

Now, just imagine you've had a really bad smash. For any sensible person, the priority would be, get out of the car and move to a safe distance, maybe call 999.

Not this lady...