Car Insurance

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“Exactly how cool is James Bond and how many gorgeous women are attracted to the cars he drives rather than the man himself?”

This was the question asked at the end of a long drunken evening after discussions on football, work and the male contraceptive pill had been exhausted.

The answer relies on opinion and conjecture, so the only tangible way to prove a case one way or the other was to recreate a famous Bond scene with a cool car and see the effect it had on the ladies in close proximity.

Beyond doubt the most memorable car scene has to be Roger Moore driving off the end of a jetty being pursued by a particularly callous young lady in a helicopter gun ship, and I thought wasps were a nuisance! The Lotus Esprit hits the water and glides effortlessly under the surface (not sure a 740 GL Volvo Estate would have looked quite as graceful!) where the wheels disappear into the body to be replaced by fins and the rear bumper sprouts propellers. Needless to say the beautiful female in the passenger seat is more than impressed with the transformation and the fact that James shoots off his rocket shortly after seems to only broaden the smile on her face!

And so the decision was made, the Lotus scene was the one we would re-create. We needed to choose the location carefully as this would be critical. There had to be room to gather speed before launching through the air and water was pretty much a necessity. The beaches around here are deserted apart from the odd cockler, and I do not use the term “odd” loosely, and so we needed to carry out the stunt in the centre of town to ensure an audience would be present in order to gauge female reaction.

Finally we found the perfect spot and the next problem was finding a Lotus Esprit, in working order, that we could modify. No joy here whatsoever, plenty of owners were happy for us to modify their cars we just couldn’t find one that worked!

“OK” said my co-conspirator “We’ll have to use my car but I need to check my insurance to see if I’m covered for flood damage!”

He was and everything was set, we had the car, the location, and an audience. What could possibly go wrong?!?

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