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The best – and worst – car bumper stickers

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March 29, 2016
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We’ve all followed cars with bumper stickers that have made us tut, sigh, scowl, smile and, very occasionally, laugh.

People have been decorating their bumpers ever since bumpers were introduced as a safety measure on the Ford Model A of 1927.

But back in those days – when people hung flag-like signs to their bumpers with string or wire – the slogans were usually to advertise holiday destinations or political persuasions rather than the more lewd or humourous efforts of today.

Here at Adrian Flux, we love a good laugh, and a good moan, so we’ve compiled a brief starter-for-ten of our best and worst bumper stickers. What are yours?

Five of the best

I just support fish: The Christian fish symbol is one of the most common car stickers of them all, especially in the US. The symbol itself is the “ichthys”, used by early Christians as a secret Christian symbol and brought back into common use in the 1970s. Atheists have long cocked a snook at believers’ public displays of faith with their own Darwinised fish with feet, among other variations.

But this is our favourite. Simple, funny and unlikely to cause offence: I just support fish.

I Just Support Fish


Be nice to America or we’ll bring democracy to your country: A little bit of political, anti-war, anti-imperialist satire never hurt anybody. This sticker has become increasingly popular in the US since the war in Iraq in 2005, and it shows little sign of becoming out-dated for a while yet.

Democracy car sticker


I used to be cool: Do you have children? Drive a people carrier? You need this sticker.

I used to be cool


I stand with Scott Walker. I don’t stand with Scott, I’m just borrowing dad’s truck: Look, it’s tough finding genuinely funny, or even witty, bumper stickers. OK, so you can’t buy this one, but full marks for this amusing addition to dad’s truck. For the record, this Scott Walker is the Republican governor of Wisconsin, not the Walker Brothers singer…

Scott Walker bumper sticker


I’m sorry for driving so close in front of you: A more subtle and amusing way to give tailgaters the hint than the standard “if you can read this you’re driving too close” variant.

Sorry for driving close bumper sticker


And five of the worst

Baby on board: Two issues with this: 1) you’ve got kids, well done, round of applause; and 2) If I hadn’t seen that sign I would have definitely driven recklessly, and quite probably hit your car. Now, I will do my very best to avoid an accident. I mean, come on. This driver clearly agrees.

Baby on board


Powered by fairy dust: Good grief. I bet you sleep in a onesie, still have your bedroom painted baby pink and cried when Zayn left One Direction, even though you’re 21.

Powered by fairy dust


Mum’s taxi: Or dad’s taxi. Or anyone’s taxi, unless you’re an actual taxi. So you give your kids lifts places – what are they meant to do, drive themselves?

Mum's taxi


If you’re gonna ride my ass at least pull my hair: Classy.



Keep calm and…: Any sticker on the back of a car in a traffic jam telling me to keep calm is likely to have the opposite effect.

Keep calm



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