Car Insurance

By -

One of the areas that Adrian Flux have really improved upon in recent years – as noted by the clients surveyed by Auto Express for their Driver power insurance survey, where Adrian Flux appeared as the most improved insurance provider.

There are may reasons for the improvements, but part of it has to be the great level of engagement from our staff.

Crazed purple cow enthusiast and queen of the service floor, Jenny, is always looking for ways to make our customer service team even happier, and so she runs a variety of competitions with prizes for the winners, and free fun for all who take part.

Two of the recent competitions have been a poetry competition and an art competition. As the standard of entries was so high, we thought that the winners deserved a wider audience.

First up the poetry competition, where the challenge was to write an ode to Bruce. (Bruce is Jenny’s pet purple cow).

Here’s a pic of Jenny and Bruce, so you get the idea:

So onto the winning poem by claims guru Simon “Toopy” Toop – don’t read it if you’re easily offended:

Bruce is strong, Bruce is fit
Bruce likes reading the newspaper while having a sh*t.

Bruce is muscular, Bruce is toned
Bruce is 100% testosteroned.

Bruce is strong, Bruce is tough
Bruce likes his women dirty and rough.

Bruce is purple, Bruce is bad
Bruce likes his cows to be totally mad.

Bruce is unique, Bruce is a stud
Bruce likes wrestling in the mud.

Bruce is smart, Bruce is cool
Bruce gives it from behind like a mule!!

Meanwhile Keely penned a poem so profound that even Carl “Can’t we have Flux MILFs?” Pickett doesn’t understand its ultimate depths of meaning (and he’s a Pink Floyd fan!):

Bruce is the grass.
He feeds us with his wisdom of claims and service knowledge.

Bruce is water.
He replenishes our withering dedication to Flux.

Bruce is the sun.
He shines on our ambitions through pay reviews.

Hail Bruce, leader of the service floor.

Onto the picture competition. For this the challenge was to draw the best representation of one or more of the service floor supervisors.

The winner this time was Keely, with her picture of Jenny with John “Ken Adams” Bray, Emma, Jon, Sonya and Nicky astride Bruce.

Runner-up was Charmain with her pics of John, Jon and Sonya.

And in third place was Claire, with her portrait of Jon Davey riding Bruceback.

So congratulations to the winners, who walk away with a small prize and a triumphant smile on their faces. And if you need to ring for customer service, and the person you speak to sounds in a particularly good mood, you’ll know why.

If, however, they sound a bit down, please bear in mind that the person before you may have unleashed a torrent of unwarranted abuse at them and given them a hard time for trying to do their job to the best of their abilities.

  • The Muppet

    >I can only assume that this “Simon Toop” character that you claim composed the poem is some sort of a man bag wearing, fully blown, pink nippled homosexual.